Out in India
 

Sod it, only the first few lines came out.

That was side-splittlingly funny, Ragnar. LOL

Let's see if this works better.

One evening in the mess the major was bragging about his hunting experience and bet anyone the he could tell, blindfolded, what animal was in front of him and how it was killed, simply by running his hands over it. Someone brought out a boar's head. He touched it and immediately said,
"Wild boar......killed with a pig sticker's lance."
Next came a rug,
"Arf arf, tiger........shot with Lee Enfield.
The usual trophies were presented and he got it right every time.

When he woke up next morning in bed he had a black eye and blood all over the sheet. He said to his wife,
"I know I had a skin full last night but I don't remember getting into a fight. Who hit me?"
"I did," replied his wife.
"What on earth for?"
"You was late coming back yesterday so I went along to the mess. I saw your stupid game and decided to let you get on with it. When you finally came back, you got undressed, fell into bed, then ran your hand over my minge and said, skunk, killed with an axe."

Problem solved.