The frog
 

A guy is walking past a river when a little voice calls out to him.
"If you pick me up and kiss me, I'll be your beautiful wife."
He looks around and all he can see is a frog sitting on the river bank. It says again,
"If you pick me up and kiss me, I'll be the most beautiful girl you've ever seen."
He picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.
"Are you a bit thick? I said if you kiss me, I'll be your wife forever."
The guy replies,
"If you could see the size of my dick you'll understand I'll be better off with a talking frog."

Lmao!