Paralympics - some sick stuff
 

Q - What's even better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

a - Not being a cripple.


In honour of the paralympics they're opening the world's smallest pub in London. It's called "The Thalidomide Arms."


A spastic in a wheelchair is being pushed along by his keeper when they come to an ice cream stand. The ice cream man asks,
"What would you like?"
The spastic goes, "Errgebeeee." The ice cream man asks the keeper what he said.
- "He wants a cornet."
Then he asks, "What flavour do you want?"
The spastic goes, "Gggllllllleeee."
The keeper says,
"Give him anything, he's going to drop it anyway."

Three blokes enter a disabled swimming contest.

The first has no arms the second no legs and the third has no body, just a head.

They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first.

He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue the head guy. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: "Three f***ing years I've spent learning to swim with my f***ing ears, then five seconds before the whistle, some bastard puts a swimming cap on me"

That's pretty offensive sick humor there

At least someone appreciates it.