I could use some manly advice
 

MEN! I have a question for you. Let's say you were in a long term relationship and things were getting a bit stale and boring in the sex department. And by "stale and boring", I mean I'm bored as fuck, and we're doing good to have sex two or three times a month anymore, and I'm doing all the initiating (and getting rejected most of the time, which is pissing me off). So I'm initiating less and less, because it just seems easier to take care of things myself. My hands don't reject me.

We're having major financial difficulties, and he's super stressed out about it. So he's so preoccupied with that that he's ignoring me. I've talked to him about it several times, and that doesn't seem to help. I prance around naked or in lingerie all the time, that doesn't work. I'll give him blowjobs or just mount him with no warning. But that doesn't help either.

So, my question to you guys is simply, what else can I do? What are some things that if a woman started doing them, no matter how stressed out or preoccupied you were with something else, you'd damn near rape that chick right then and there, and preferably keep coming back for more. I'm getting desperate.

Don't get me wrong, I understand why he's stressed, and I'm stressed about it, too. But I just don't think that letting it rule our thoughts and our lives is the best way to go about it, and I've told him that. I would think sex would be a good stress relief and a welcome distraction from our troubles, but apparently I'm the only one who thinks that.

I understand your question. It is a problem for both of you. A man's mind does tricks ( pun intended). For some reason my mind wanders to work related thoughts; not good.

The best way to solve this is to reduce the financial stress. Time is the best cure. Just give him your support and love, he needs that now. Tell him to take "time out" that you have a life, too!

I hope he will understand and take your needs into account. That is the best I can say now. It isn't much; maybe someone else can offer ideas.

bmet is right about the man mind. If it's fixed on something, it's pretty hard to get it out of his head and that gets even worse if the matter has potential threat. Financial problems sure qualify as a threat in my book.

In my case, booze would help relieve some of the stress. It may not work for all though. And this is very temporary. In the long term, you need to fix the origin of the stress.

I don't know where you are but here there are tools and services available for such a situation. I'm guessing there must be some around you as well. If you have not already, you should have a look into them.

There are 2 basic common thing to fix every financial issue:
- Make a budget and follow it. Don't forget to keep a small margin for your gratification. You'll need some in a dry situation.
- Consolidate your debt so you have only one creditor. This way it becomes a lot easier to focus on your goal and that reduces stress.

If you have some valuable assets that you can part with, do it and make sure you use the money to clear part of the debt. If you use it for something else, you'll have regrets which will add to the stress.

Getting out of a financial problem is not easy and often take a significant amount of time. I know because it happened to me. But it can be done. Making a plan, following it and seeing results will relieve some stress and help you get thru it. I was alone back then and it was not easy. Hopefully, being a couple it might be easier if you both work at it.

Hope you will resolve the situation. Good luck.

Try designating a 'date night'-Trying to see things the way they used to be. Both agree to leave all the problems of the world behind for those few precious 'important' hours, because I know it feels like you're in the worst situation in the world! Take all the toys you both have liked in the past. Remember the great times you have had with each other. Either find a secluded spot, even a 'cheap' room you have never been to. I know It's going to cost a few $$$ to pull this off, but it worked for me & my wife.....Kind off sparked things up & made us both realize the really important things in life.....And remember, just the anticipation of the date sometimes will even help.....but you have to leave your problems behind for a few hours to make it work! Good Luck-We're all behind you......or wished we were ;)

Bimiself, you hit a home run! My wife and I always set Friday eve as " Date Night". We either go to the food court in our mall, Red lobster, Carl's Jr., or a buffet. The location is dependent on the funds. We have no telephones or TV to bother us. We can talk freely with each other, even in crowds. No one wants to listen to our chatter! We are alone!

Yes, good luck to find your way out. It is important as age descends upon you. Don't give up!

Thanks guys. It's good to know that's typical of men. It's not typical of me, so I end up projecting that onto other people.

Our problems will be fixed once we find new jobs, but until then, we're screwed. I lost my job in September, and have been looking for a new job since then. And his job is screwing him over and cutting his hours by over half, so now we're living on about $600 a month. We can't pay our rent, let alone our bills, and we had to go on food stamps. We're just lucky that our landlord isn't a dick and won't kick us out of our house.

We used to have date nights, but right now we're so strapped for cash that the only money we can set aside is just barely enough to cover his gas back and forth from work. So I've been trying to think of date night ideas that don't require any money. :p

well bindicat... if date nite doesnt work, in terms as u did mention on the financial part... i wud say, a long drive, listen to music. if not then u cud always head to a park or a beach. spend quite some time by ur self. no distractions... please make sure u dont carry ur cell phones when u plan for a small trip by ur selves...

He is probably feeling pretty insecure about all of this. I know that when you feel that way sex isn't that interesting sometimes. You could try focusing less on sex and more on romantic things together. Take a long walk, or do something new,fun & exciting.Get out of your place and stay active. Exercise is a great way to get your mind off or life's problems. Some of these things might sound obvious but they help.

I would say if things are working right now, just give it time. Fix your money problems them try again and then to for the date night. Good luck with everything.

I hope she does not get offended. But i was always under the impression that BINDICAT is a guy. So shes a girl who has a small penis husband/boyfriend?
I figured he was a guy and pic was of his girlfriend.
Anyway, there are a lot of guys who will do to earth end to make you happy. If your guy no longer wants to have sex, then its probably because he found other places to get.
I think you should be with a man that knows how to fully apreciate you

no crazy8, she did mention that they r having financial issues... and yes that does play a toll on ones mind... which in turn does have its affects on ones sexual life.... its a stupid cycle

Hey, guys, give her a break!

Most understand the pressure a man can endure.
Finances are the most difficult to solve unless family can help.

We know, we have been there; if not, it is coming....

I have been there too. I have had many bad situations in life. Many sicne i met my current gf 2 years ago. We were homeless and slept in my car. Through everything, i never stopped wanting to fuck her.
People are different i guess.

Thank for the advice you guys. I really appreciate it. You all are way too nice. :D

And crazy8, I am a girl, and my avatar is a picture of me. I speak the truth. :p

It's really a crazy situation to be in. Money and sound finances are really at the root of happiness and peace of mind. It's sad but it's true. I'm not suggesting that you guys are destitute by any means, bindi, but everything just sucks so badly when you're jobless and not earning money. I know that when I was in that type of situation, nothing made me feel better. I can't say that I've ever been that depressed where i'd deprive myself an orgasm, however. But not everyone is the same. I'm sure you both have a lot on your minds, and I'm sure he loves and appreciates you more than he's showing you at the moment. Not being able to earn an income fucks with your emotions, self-esteem, and self-confidence on so many levels. It's really a touchy issue and there is no real answer. I can't even imagine how frustrating it must get. Hopefully he comes out of it once you guys are back on track, and you guys can resume your healthy sexual relationship.

Just wondering, bindi, have you at any moment ever felt like he was being unfaithful? I'm not suggesting you would give him any reason to want to stray, but I know that men get stupid sometimes after they've been in a relationship for a while and they start doing dumb shit. Doesn't sound like he's the type of person who would go that route, but I was just wondering.

No, I've never gotten that vibe from him. So if he was doing that, he's hiding it really well. :p

that's pretty bad, hope everything will be ok soon...