Serious question about dating?
 

I need your help and opinnions on something. I like this girl and we have went out a few times. I am freaking out because I want to have sex with her but I am afraid for her to find out about my size. I am not even 3 1/2 inches fully erect and I know she has been with guys before. My question is should I tell her ahead of time like before we take our clothes off or get intimate or just wait and let her find out. I am serious this is too much pressure and then I have a problem cumming really fast. I just don't want to be a failure. I am 23 and I don't have that much experience with girls.

That is some of the best advice I have ever got! Thanks I will do that! Now I'm not stressing over it so much!

That is if you are good at oral. She will probably want some dick eventually, I guess let her find out on her own then you will get the most honest reaction.

I have to disagree.
I think before getting intimate with her you should concider few factors.
First, do you have mutual friends, live in the same area, go to same college?
You need to estimate the damage before anything happens. If she is local, you should really take your time before letting her find out your secret. Once she knows and things go wrong, every one will know. So get to know her, find out what kind of person she is. Find out if she really like you. If you both indeed like each other then maybe you should take a chance.
Tell her beforehand. Explain the situation. Ask her if size ever matter to her. Tell her that you think she is absolutely amazing. Work up some game and tell her before anything goes down.
You dont want to see any surpirses on her face man, it can scar you for life. And you dont want her telling everyone about you. So take caution.
But all in all, im glad that you are tying man. Good for you. Believe me, if not her then somebody else. You will find the right girl eventually. Just dont lay all your egss into one basket.
Best of luck

Thanks crazy 8! That is alot to think about. I am a virgin and she has been with guys before, I'm sure bigger than me and maybe even had huge. You gave me some good insite. I wasn't thinking that far down the road!

lol like a contingency plan because of a small penis. Unfortunately it can be necessary.
But who knows, maybe she has already had a guy smaller than you.

Mate what a good thread, some of these ideas are top notch and will use them myself. I myself have gone over scenarios like this before.

First off, I believe he already knows what type of girl she is, and even if she seems bitchy I got a plan. Here's how this goes down for me everytime (I know things might not work out but it sounds safe). As Things are getting hott get on top of her and kiss her very sexy. Work youre way down to her neck, onto her stomach, slightly kiss the vagina and keep on touching her body as you work to her feet. Then make your move, and give the best oral possible, I mean do research on what they love, I did. Important part is to start slow, work the clit and couple mins in g-spot rub. Usually three inches on the top part of the vagina. When she cums all over and says it was amazing say you love to orally pleasure woman, and slowly work it in..but don't just out and say you have a small penis, try to make it seem youre not sure about your size. This is the tricky part, if she's turned on/loved the oral/doesn't care about size/generous she will suck that dick till you explode! Lol, well that's how it's gone over in my head countless times...always works..

As for the contingency plan, woman can fuck you over but if your friends find out just use one of the oldest trick "I dunno what that crazy bitch was talking about." or "You wernt complaining when you were sucking on it!" and turn it on her. Crazy girls happen to everyone and even if a dudes big or good size theyre going to scream "small dick" after a bad breakup.

A contingency plan is always a good idea.
All of us live in fear of people finding out or secret, correct? What way worse then to have a girl spread the rumors. She is not the last girl on the planet. And if he evaluates the sistuation, and decides she might tell everyone, then why go for it? Sex is a great thing. But something like that getting out could mean bigger problems then waiting a little while longer to loose the v card.
I would personally recommend for any small guy doing it for the first or second time do it with a stranger. Or at least someone that does not run in your circles.

True. Also they say dating friends never ends well. But I wonder if because we have small sizes how different are we than a man with a normal size? Are we more nice men, the forgiving type, the shy type, unconfident? Are we angry at life, ourselves, uncheating type, or take pussy whenever we can get it? What I'm getting at is if were a different kind of male, how different should we treat break ups and other similar matters?

Just as long as you don't spend so much time trying to prevent everyone knowing about your dick size that it becomes more important than being with someone.

Yes, we can't let our small matter run our entire lives. Easier said than done I know.

Hey road, we are all those things you mentioned, and more.
ofcourse its different for normal guys. Even if the girl does tell eevryone he is small, who cares? Chances are his friends know ehs not small, chances are he has slept with other girls that also talk. So if hung guy having an ex telling everyone that they are small, well to them its just a laughing matter. To guys like us, this could mean end of the world.

Yes i agree, having a small dick should not toally run your life. But, how many of us can live amongst people who know that they are small? Have friends know? Have an ex tell it to people. Would you like to be on the outside of the inside joke when people put their index and thumb fingers together, show a babys dick and laugh? laugh at you? I mean this shit is rediculous, but sadly true. Especially younger guys who are still in highschool.
My point, if you lucky enough to stumble upon a girl who had values in life, and is really into you. Then it makes sense to go for it. Take that risk. But if its a girl who sleeps around, knows all your friends etc....come on man do you really think she would enjoy a small dick, probably not. And ofcourse she is going to tell people. If you want pussy there are other ways to get it and not have to jeopordize your pride and self respect.

What if a guy is awesome with his size, as the saying goes, quality over quantity. Should he still worry over his size? And you make a lot of valid points crazy. I wish I knew more on how the mind of a woman works. Maybe in the end size didn't matter....who knows.

I wouldn't tell her beforehand. That makes it seem like you're completely preoccupied with your size and lack confidence (whether it's true or not, it's not something she needs to be thinking before she's had a chance to fuck you). This is a complete turn off, whether the guy doing it is tiny or huge.

You need to go in there completely confident in your abilities (fake it if you have to), because that in itself will turn her on. Study up on your technique (mouth, hands, penis; all of it), and get her super turned on (and preferably get her off) before you even whip out your penis. If you've sufficiently wow'd her already, your size is going to be way less of an issue. If it's even an issue at all.

There are other parts of the body to use your mouth on besides the vulva. :p

But I do understand some girls can be a bit against the idea of oral sex at first. But with proper seduction beforehand, most of them will still let it happen, atleast for a little bit. And if the guy knows what he's doing, that little bit is really all he needs.

Here's what I've found, both from my own experience and that of other women:

Almost all women who say they don't like oral sex are either too uncomfortable in their own body to let themselves enjoy it, have never had it done properly, or some combination of the two. Loosen her up (bring out the alcohol if need be), make sure you know exactly how to give exceptional oral, and go at her. If you truly do know what you're doing, she'll change her mind about oral after a few strokes.

I have never gave a girl oral before so I don't know how good I will be at it but I am reading up on it. I looked on the internet and there are a million sites showing technique and what to do. If I do it right she could actually have an Orgasm before I even get my dick out! Not to sound dumb but you all are giving me good advice and I just have never done any of this before.

I am the op! I don't know what I would do because I have never gave a woman oral before or even had intercourse so I guess I would just keep going if I started and she seemed to be enjoying it.

You would be correct, peanut. :p If she's into it, keep doing what you're doing. If for some reason she's so rank that you just can't stand it, then slowly start exchanging the tongue for your fingers and start messing with her g spot.

But freshness shouldn't be a problem. If a chick is going out on a date, she primps, so it wouldn't be a problem anyway. But if a chick is going out on a date that she thinks could possibly end in sex, she's going to do extra primping and make sure she's as fresh and groomed as possible. Especially if it's with a guy she's never had sex with before.

As far as technique goes, the most important thing you need to know, if you learn nothing else, and I cannot stress this enough: You need to know exactly, without a doubt, where her clitoris is. You'd think (or I would, atleast) that it should be fairly obvious where it is, especially if you've been looking at pictures or whatever. But apparently it's not. And I can't even describe how frustrating it is when you're being eaten out by a guy who has no clue where the thing is. Us women just get really frustrated really fast, and all we can think is "wow, this guy has no idea what he's doing". You won't get her off, it puts her in a bad mood, and it pretty much ruins the whole experience.

Other than that, don't be really rough with your tongue and lash at her clit like you see in porn. Doing that for a moment to mix things up is fine, and can be really good if done properly, but don't do it the whole time. It's another one of those "wow, this guy has no idea what he's doing" situations. Use a gentle tongue. Think of it sort of like this: you want to coax her clitoris out of hiding and make it seek out your tongue, not the other way around. By doing that, you're giving her clit a chance to stop and think, "Hey, this is pretty nice", and seek you out for more, which means she's going to enjoy it more. If you have to search her out and immediately start bombarding her, that's going to make her clitoris retreat to safety, and she's not going to enjoy herself nearly as much.

Seriously dude since your lacking make sure you pay attention to what cat is saying. I'm small but i make ladies cum with my mouth before my dick makes an appearance. And most importantly have fun doing it man because stressful sex isnt good sex.

ps hangover 2 was hilarious

I have a smaller dick and I can tell you that when I was your age I faced the same situation.

The first issue about when to teller her or let her know depends on the situation. The best way I addressed it was by mentioning it to her while kissing and being upfront about it. Not necessarily being appologetic but having some humor about it helped.

The second issue about cumming fast happened to me also when young. What I learned was to realease some of the pressue by masturbating about 6 hours before going out. That way I would not be too anxious and cum so quickly. Having a lot of foreplay works for me too before penetration. Learning to provide oral satisfaction helps also and your gf should be happy with your overall peformance.

Hope it helps.

Hey Cat since you just described how to eat pussy would you mind telling us how you give head ;p

I don't really have a method. :p I just kind of go at it. I do make sure to get my lips and tongue involved, swirl around a lot, deep throat when appropriate (usually when it's not expected), and I don't neglect the balls. So I don't do the whole "I'm going to rigidly bob up and down and that's it" thing, unless that's how the guy wants it done (or unless I feel like getting face-fucked, but that's different since I'm not really doing the moving). Which works out since my jaw doesn't get tired nearly as quick, so I can go for a lot longer. It's a win-win.

I enjoy reading woman talk about how to work the clit. Turn on!

hot damn! Bindicat i bow before you!

Some of you make it seem like giving a girl oral is the key to all the gates.
Do you think large guys dont know how to do it? Its such a silly understanding, if you give good oral she wont mind your size.
I think thats bull. I think EVERYTHING depends on the person. If she is a good/descent person who is not obsessed about size, then oral will only be plus.
But if your doing some slut, i dont think oral will make a difference. You can go down on her for hours and she will still want a huge dick inside of her.
Oh and i would like to add, not all women seek strong confident men. Some want guys that are unsure of themselves, shy, quiet etc.....I guess some girls feel its easier to deal with guys like that. My point is, every single girl is different. Our advice does not mean shit, you have to find out what shes really like.

I agree to an extent. You have to look at the individual. I was just talking in generalities, though. This is a girl that the OP likes and has been spending some time with, so I wasn't thinking about advice in terms of "hey, I'm gonna go bang some whore". That's going to make a huge difference. Yeah, if you're having a one night stand with some slut, then I completely agree with you. But if it's with a girl you're looking at maybe having a relationship with, then, assuming she's a decent girl, she's going to be much more willing to be understanding about things if she's really into you. Especially if you show her that you're interested in making sure she has a good time. It's easy for a chick to go out and get a quick fuck. But to find someone who actually cares about you and is willing to invest their time in you is special, and it says a lot about a person.

Ya I can see the difference if it was just sex then I would look at it way different! This is a girl I want to have a long relationship with. Thank you Bindicat for the informative instructions about what to do down there! I can't believe how many responses I have gotten. I appreciate all of it. This is alot of things to think about!

No problem. I like helping people out if I can. :)

Yea I totally agree with crazy. At the end of the day, who you are to yourself and to woman matter the most. We are going to run into women who will laugh at our size, that is a given. But after that fall we must not be hard on ourselves. we gotta get up and hope for the best next time. I'm slowly realizing this, but at the time sometime I have moments were I completely hate my size and myself because of it.