OK first off it's SPH not SDH
You have to realize that (for me anyway) it's pure fantasy. Of course if in real life a woman was to say to me the things that I like in my SPH fantasies I would be devastated. No I don't NEED it to get hard. I have many things that turn me on SPH just happens to be one of them. You don't even need to have a small dick to be into it either. I've heard from guys who are 7" or bigger who are into it.
Who knows why some things turn some people on and not others. Even within the SPH "community" there are different subgroups. Some guys prefer the playful stuff like "oh it's so cute it's like a little ....". Others like to mix it with other fetishes like cross dressing, sissyfication, BDSM etc.
has it always been this way? hard to say. Maybe in a subconscious way. As a fetish, no. In fact I think the fetish is a fairly recent phenomenon. I certainly didn't become aware of it until about 6 or 7 years ago.
It's a strange fetish mainly because it's very difficult to find actual women to do it. Some guys are lucky enough to have wives or girlfriends who are willing to indulge them but for the rest of us we pretty much have to pay for it. Let's face it unless the woman is one of the very few who actual enjoys it most women would get very little from partaking in it. There's not much in it for them.
The only time you will find women ridiculing a guy because of his small dick is after he has broken up with her and that is out of spite. If she felt like he was enjoying it she probably wouldn't do it then either.
congratulations on being such a stud btw.