@LittleMan: I don' really think it is a question of having the cake and eating it, this is a relationship issue.
@Mike: Personally, I think you did the right thing. Women can be difficult to fathom at times but one thing for sure, comes push to shove, they'll hold something like this against you and you don't want to go down that road.
Maybe time for the two of you to have some proper time all to yourselves. Maybe a holiday is in order, even with her demanding work I am sure she is entitled to that. Talk, that's in my experience the most important thing. Stop communicating and things will inevitably go down the drain at some point and judging from the way you refused the 'Cake' (or bacon if you prefer), you sound like you still love your wife or at least I'd like to think so.
I do hope it all turns out for the best. Maybe you can find some time for yourselves over the upcoming holidays. Best of luck whatever you may decide to do.
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