The way the world and "god" works is unexplainable. I don't know anymore, my take on it is, just move the fuck on. Be happy.
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"If you let it get to you, you will be opening a door of self loathing, despair, and hatred. Look beyond and accept. It will do more to develop your self-acceptance than nearly anything else. We all must learn the lesson of accepting ourselves. If we don't accept ourselves, for what we are, then how can we expect anyone else to accept us?"
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