Crazy, if that was true, then the majority of men in Japan would a) never have sex, b) all go out for PE and c) would have to consider comitting suicide like you mentioned you do.
I know, I shouldn't say this. Get off the bloody internet and stop watching monster cock porn all day. In other words, get a life, mate.
A lot of people here have told you this before. You have to seek help. You can find almost everything on the web but the help you need isn't amongst it.
I do apologise for the tone of this post.
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