Has anyone here ever noticed...
 

how difficult it is to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take everything literally?

Ask an Irishman if the Tower of Pisa leans to the left or to the right.

Have you ever noticed..............

If you go to a lawyer's office and he takes down a thick volume and starts going through it, your first thought is, "Ah, he's going to get me out of this shit."

On the other hand, if you go to a doctor and he gets out a book, your first thought is, "Oh shit, he doesn't know."